What happens when you don’t want to be the top or bottom, or even the bottom? What happens if you’re a gay guy who doesn’t want to have anal sex? This type of relationship can be called “sides,” which is a bit embarrassing.
Last week, I attended a gay speed dating event in Thailand. The registration process went smoothly. They asked for names, phone numbers, emails, and social media channels. However, there was one section that made me wonder: “Role.”
Top – top
Bottom – bottom
Versatile – both
Sides
I was quite curious, so I asked the registration staff what this role meant. The answer was:
“Outside.”
In the gay community, the roles in sex are usually called as attacker or receiver. When going on a date or meeting, no matter from any channel, such as going to pick up in the alley, throwing bombs on IG until getting a date, going to the Telegram room, making an appointment with a Twitter star, making an appointment through various dating apps such as Jack ‘D, Hornet, BlueD, Tinder, we always ask this question: “attack” or “receiver” or “vesatile” (Vesatile). If we know early, we can prepare early. Or if the roles are the same, we may not make an appointment or find people to join because it is very important if we make an appointment with someone and see the compatibility of the roles in bed.
There has been quite a bit of talk about gay sex as we know. In the understanding of men and women in general, sometimes we think that gays may have sex in a way that takes turns doing it, taking turns penetrating, which is true. Some couples are like that, especially couples who are bots. They can switch roles, but most of them have clear roles like normal male and female couples. And the question of today’s blog is, if we are that person, the person who doesn’t want to have anal sex, what would we call ourselves? Or are we abnormal? Or are we not gay? Or are we afraid of having sex? This question also popped into my head. At one point, anal sex was so painful that we just wanted to cuddle.
“External” is often understood to mean kissing, hugging, sucking, licking, mutual masturbation, rubbing up and down each other’s body. These activities are examples of “external”. This group will do activities that do not involve anal penetration. Some people may have tried it and did not like it, or some people alternate between external and penetration. When some people realize that they do not like being penetrated, they will adjust their form to external. Although some people like to play with their anus, such as fingering, but there will be no other penetration. Sometimes, people who like “external” often encounter some embarrassment. Sometimes we believe that we should have anal sex to be correct. There must be something wrong somewhere. Sometimes, some people believe that not being penetrated or being penetrated in the anus does not mean that they are gay.
People with erectile dysfunction, hormonal disorders, or injuries to the penis can also change to the “external” role. Because the inability to get an erection normally makes penetrative sex difficult.
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“External is normal”
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Nowadays, there are quite a few people in society who like the external role. People who love and like the external should be happy and proud of what they like. There is nothing to be ashamed of. There is no need to try to go to another role that we do not like or try and make you feel bad. Being the top, the bottom, the bottom, or the outside does not indicate how gay we are, who is superior, and does not make anyone’s sexual status lower.
The Internet, the technology of today’s world, shows us that people, whether male or female, have a variety of lifestyles and sexual relationships. We can choose to do what we think is right for us.
Try to give yourself the freedom to experiment, find new ways, and find excitement. Having activities with the outside is just as exciting as being the top or the bottom, or any role.
And don't forget, when engaging in any sexual activity, whether it's oral, anal, or raw, and you're not sure, come and check with testBKK.
